My friend Melissa is very cool, and she puts up with me..we met at work when we were both in cubicle hell in banking. Sometimes you meet your life long friends when you are battling the forces of evil together..If you have spent any part of your career in banking, you know what I mean. I won't post a picture of Melissa, because, well, she is now a famous celebrity and I want to keep her anonymous. So, Melissa may not even be her real name.
This toothbrush if very special, because I only use it when I travel..which must mean I am traveling - which for those of you who know me even remotely know me, it's kinda my thing. It's why I work, so I can travel...However, I am not in London. I am visiting my BFF who I have known since I knew how to have a friend, Laura. As you can see, as women age we often have issues with facial hair. Her situation is more under control than mine. This is us last year when we were hitting up wineries all day with her brother David and my husband, Anonymous.
She lives right near this magical little place called San Francisco, technically she is in the East Bay, which means you don't freeze your ass off here in the summer and the traffic is a little better. She has lived here a long time, off and on...I have been here A LOT..but I don't love her because she lives here, I love to visit San Fran because she is here..and its half way to Kauai..
My parents know Laura, I know Laura's parents, my dad calls Laura "Twinkle Toes" because she used to tip toe around and was a ballet dancer. He calls me Bertha Big Butt, or used to..that's okay, its a term of endearment in my family, we are Italian, so we respect a lady with round thing in her back..
Wait..I have lost my way..
Arghh, I was supposed to be writing about London, and "Melissa" and my toothbrush. Okay, so back in May 2002, my friend Melissa and I decided we were going to London to see plays, do tea, see history, and well, SHOP..we travel well together, which is good. So when we arrived in our terrific little hotel right across from the V&A - I realized I had forgotten my toothbrush. If there is one thing Melissa will not tolerate, its a wing man with bad breath. So we navigated our way to a little drug store type place and went to buy a toothbrush, the first one I grabbed I took right up to the counter. Having just come off an overnight flight, sitting in business class, which meant free drinks, I was a little woozy. The kind person behind the counter said to me - are you sure you want to buy a toothbrush that costs this much? It was $10...I would put the symbol in for pounds but I can't find it, but the exchange rate was about $1.45 to one pound, so it was about a $18 toothbrush, with VAT and all that. Sheesh...so I wandered back and got a much cheaper model, which is the one I still travel with today.
My First Trip to London...and My Eric Clapton Crush
This was my second trip to London, the first time, I went after college and stayed a bit with my friend's mum and at a scary hostel in London. I was in my Eric Clapton huge crush phase. The year was 1992, actually twenty years ago this year.. A boyfriend in college turned me onto Clapton (I can't say my boyfriend because, well, there was more than one). I became a little obsessed, well, a lot obsessed, not about my boyfriend, he is a fine upstanding man, but about Eric. So, as all good obsessed gals do, I saw him at a bunch of venues, including Alpine with my friend Betsy (featured in an earlier blog), but this is Clapton nirvana..24 Nights at Royal Albert Hall. So, for my twenty something birthday I parked my little blond butt in a swivelly seat (that is a made up word, but if you have been to RAH, you know what I mean), and was prepared to be in the Sunshine of His Love, to be his Layla, to have him tell me how wonderful I looked tonight. But this is the year he decided to embrace the blues, and it was his tryout period for songs that would eventually show up "From the Cradle." Now, I am going to say something which will probably lower your esteem of me, but frankly, I am not a huge blues fan. There, I have said it. It's okay, once in a while, but its not my go to music. But it was still a great trip to London. Here are two hot pictures of that sexy music man..Stay hot, you old codger!
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Let me cut to the chase because this is getting long. Melissa and I went to every department store, and my biggest mistake was not buying a phone with a camera in it. This was 10 years ago, and camera phones were still cutting edge. I thought, who the hell needs a camera in their phone, I have a camera?? Well, when I saw the 6' 5" cross dressing trans-sexual who looked like he had gotten his clothes from the Ab-Fab girls in Selfridge's - I knew I had made a fatal judgement call.
The best thing about traveling with Melissa is that she is as organized as I am, and we both like to plot out all the things we want to do, and do them until we drop dead. So, we picked up a Time Out London before we started hitting the free wine and guess who was coming to London with us? BRUCE!!!! Bruce was playing the Crystal Palace, which is outside of London. Well, because Melissa and I play the same game of pretending the dollars and pounds were interchangeable - we decided to find ourselves a ticket agent and score tickets. Of course we paid a fortune, but this was his first tour post 9/11 - and it was The Rising Tour..and well, people were still digging America back then.
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| Actual Picture from that show.. |
Seriously, Melissa and I had a great time, its really different to go to an outdoor show in London. Just a few pointers - start time is completely nebulous, open seating is random, and wow, when that Concorde takes off overhead, its LOUD...It was my first Bruce concert, and on that day, it was awesome to be American girls in London. We finished up the night by heading back on the train to London.
London is a good city for me, because I generally have problems staying up past 10 pm, but with the time change, I was game for staying up at least until midnight, plus I was full of American Bruce Juice! So we hit the Hard Rock Casino in London..why? Because its the only damned place to get a drink after 11:00 in London. Jesus, people..take a lesson from Spain, the party just gets going there at 11!!
Guess who we saw there..no not Bruce and Patty, not the queen or any famous princes, nope, among the partying Americans and Middle Easterners we saw a real celebrity...
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| Ali G!!! |
- See plays - no need to get dressed up and you can eat and drink while watching them - its so not Broadway, its just part of their everyday life- you can get half price tix the same day. We saw Stones in His Pockets (terrific) and a crappy play with the Ross from Friends in it, but it was still fun, because we had wine.
- Westmister Abbey, The Eye, Victoria &Albert, castles - just do it all. Tower of London is fun too..just see all the touristy stuff - its why you are there.
- Do not let Italian men buy you champagne at the Mandarin Hotel unless you are with a wingman and have a code word. Harmless old coots.
- The food does not suck, so don't bitch about it.
- Harrod's, Selfridge's, et al..way cool. Though the Diana/Dody thing in Harrod's is creepy.
- Do tea - high tea with all the accouterments at least twice.
- The restaurant at the top of Harvey Nicks is great..
- Watch a lot of AbFab before you go.
- Take the tube, but ride in a cab - and take a picture of yourself in a London Cab.
- FOR GOD'S SAKE LOOK THE OTHER WAY WHEN YOU CROSS THE STREET!!
And finally, say hello to the Queen..this one..
NOT THIS ONE....
Cheerio...of to go enjoy San Fran..where I may see one of these queens. That is going to be a great conversation with my son and nephew..
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