Welcome to the Club...Sorry you were invited..

Newcomers Night at The Club
Last night I went to dinner with a good friend, it was a dinner to welcome me to a club of sorts.  No, this is not one of the fancy clubs that you have to get six people you know to propose you, or that requires that you wear white when playing racquet sports... (In full disclosure, I belong to such places and I enjoy them, which is not very liberal of me).  This is a club, that, as my wise friend told me,  "I sometimes wonder if they told you at birth what the price of admission was, you may have asked for a pass."  The name of our club is not a secret, you might have your own version, but I will call it the "Those Who Have Lost A Parent Club."  I belong to a particular sub-club, called, "Girls Who Lost Their Dad Club." 


Thankfully, my mom is alive and kicking...in fact, if she would get her knees done (which she has vowed to do right after the holidays)..she will be kicking..probably for another 25 years.  I could write a whole big blog on my mom, and I promise to do so..but she is okay right now, so I am going to deal with my daddy issues.

Mommy and Me

Dads and Their Little Girls

What can I say?  All girls have different relationships with their fathers.  My sister and I would probably tell you two completely different tales of our dad.  I grew up with my dad being a role model for how I wanted to be professionally, he encouraged me to be an exceptional athlete, taught me how to do advanced algebra by figuring out the over/under on football bets.  When I wanted to play baseball in the boys league because softball was just too easy, he said, sure, why not?  He took me to football games (umm..go Browns, yea Tribe, and even my first Phillies game at old Vet stadium.).  My dad grew up as an only child and his father died in World War II, it was just him and Vanda (and one step dad who was essentially a juvenile delinquent for a few years).  I am eternally grateful to my Uncle Joe, who is still with us at 97, who gave my dad some grounding in being a dad.  We all love Uncle/Grandpa Joe.  But really, dad had to make this up on his own.  Was he perfect..HELL NO..Was he right..usually..

Uncle Joe telling TJ how great a golfer my dad was

Patience

I think the one virtue I have learned as a parent is patience. Dad had patience, I know this because he liked to take me golfing, yes, "liked" to take me golfing, all 18 holes (with a cart!).  This is a great way to spend quality time with anyone, who is patient.  In my dad's healthier days he loved to golf, he golfed with my husband, my son, and was particularly proud of our son's golf accomplishments.  The day Princess Diana died, my husband and dad were golfing together.. You can see from the picture below that they were happy, not only because the Princess had not yet died, but because this was before they lost two dozen balls between the two of them at The Ocean Course at Kiawah. I was also knocked up with said little golfer, but nobody but me knew..nice place..nice memories..don't forget extra balls.

Husband and Dad at the Ocean Course

Princess Diana frolicking in the waves - which is what I was doing while they were golfing

Sorry this is not the wedding you were dreaming of planning...

I think I really bummed out my mom when I decided not to go the traditional white wedding route, and instead chose to get married barefoot at sunset, in Curacao.  My dad was actually relieved that he didn't have to walk me down an aisle and turn into a blubbering mess, so was I...instead this is the picture of my parents at my wedding..

Sitting on a dock watching your daughter get married

Of course, as always, there was a bonus round for my dad.  Curacao has topless beaches..

Woo Hoo Best Wedding Location EVER!

Where are you going with this?

I don't know.  I started off being really sad when I was thinking about writing this, but I had some really fun times with my dad.  He always liked to go to the best or most interesting restaurant wherever we were, take us on great trips, and give us unlimited unsolicited and solicited advice.  In case you are wondering about his restaurant list its like this 1)Longhi's in Maui 2) Osteria (Palm a close second) in Philly and 3) Caffe Capri in Boardman, OH.

A Political Side Note

Well, until I headed off to college my dad and I used to have pleasant political discourse, which is to say, we did not talk about politics.  I moved east, and as we both got older, he became more conservative and I became vastly less conservative (warning! liberals/independents do live in Central Pennsylvania).  He liked to share with my his viewpoints about why my viewpoints were wrong..I pointed out to him that he was no longer paying for my fancy pants lifestyle, so thanks but no thanks.  We really didn't see eye to eye..it doesn't mean that I didn't love him any less, so I took politics off the table as a discussion topic, he occasionally tried to put it back on the table.  I learned to walk away.  Yep, still a god damned independent child.  

Finally...

But still, I was going through a pretty rough patch over the last few weeks, and those who were able to get me through it like no one else were the card carrying members of my new club.  I feel like those who have not yet punched this ticket are in some ways, avoiding seeing me, which frankly, sucks.  

Jesus, you aren't going to make me any sadder, that is not really possible.

So, while the price of membership has been extraordinarily high, I have a lot of work to do to make sure that I am the best member I can be.  There is no quitting this one (like Girl Scouts), but I just hope that I don't see any of my friends names on the proposed membership list anytime soon.

When I was a little Pam

Dad and his girls

THANKS MOM FOR MARRYING THE RIGHT GUY!